i turn a year older in some 20 minutes or so...but that is besides the point. the point is...birthday surprises and celebrations apart, i am turning old...but does that mean i am growing also?am i getting matured as a person...is my outlook towards things changing??thinking of the past one year....if not anything else...it has been extremely taxing...losing some people very close to me...anil jethu..punno jethu and my mashi.i never realised i loved her so much until this may when i went her place and saw that life-size photo in her room..she was an epitome of liveliness for me.knowing all the ups and downs of her life and yet her zeal to smile and keep herself happy....her singing and chattering...et all....i wish i can live up to it mashi....
lerning so much about people...developing a devil-may-care attitude....truly, i feel the change now that i actually sit and contemplate.i klnow for sure that i am not bothered about people and their reactions anymore. and that is why i believe i am beginning to remain happy for longer periods of time...or so i believe!!!!
if not anything else, one thing for sure...i know what are my priorities..at least for the moment...and i know that it is important to think about yourself and yourself only most of the times.....
albeit there are people and quite a few of them i would always keep before me....
thank you all for making me what i am today....trust me...each one of you had a hand in it!!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
places n people
it is happening again...it should not. another internship ends and i leave this place tomorrow...carrying a baggage full of memories. interning at Kundalia has been the most learning experience so far.Amidst all the corrections, scoldings,expectations,accolades,advices,laughter et all....i have grown accustomed to this place. my desk,my work, my files...people here made a part of everything so easily.they accepted me with all my flaws..loved me..cared for me.
as i am on verge of leaving this place i feel what everyone here meant to me. in such a short span i have learnt so much from each of them....
the intimidating kolkata high court building...those huge pillars...the busy lawyers...me..running with lawyer from one courtroom to another...the intrinsic architecture but the same sense of belonging at the same time...am going to miss it for sure...
the blatant point is just that i got attached to this place.sitting alone n working on my desk today, there is this constant feeling that sir might just ask for some research or ma'am might just give me some letter or something to type...
i am leaving this place for sure...but as a changed person...they have made me more confident...i li'l less "D-uh"-as ma'am would say!!And this place...well more about that on some other post...
for the moment-ASTA LAVISTA KOLKATA :P :)
as i am on verge of leaving this place i feel what everyone here meant to me. in such a short span i have learnt so much from each of them....
the intimidating kolkata high court building...those huge pillars...the busy lawyers...me..running with lawyer from one courtroom to another...the intrinsic architecture but the same sense of belonging at the same time...am going to miss it for sure...
the blatant point is just that i got attached to this place.sitting alone n working on my desk today, there is this constant feeling that sir might just ask for some research or ma'am might just give me some letter or something to type...
i am leaving this place for sure...but as a changed person...they have made me more confident...i li'l less "D-uh"-as ma'am would say!!And this place...well more about that on some other post...
for the moment-ASTA LAVISTA KOLKATA :P :)
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
momentary lapse of reason
a new year... a new beginnig...et all.
02:19 a.m. to be precise and here i sit...staring at the laptop screenw eyes bereft of any sleep..thinking of writing something, albeit the subject matter for the same appears to be forlorn. As has always been the situation with me...i have never known what i want...i ahve always known what i dont. i know i want to write...i dont know what to write.....
it is probably the only escape route to say that i ahve been over-loaded with work....and then i can go on and on justifing myself...but the point is why do i have to do it....i know if i want to i will find a way...its just that i dont have that drive...and this is really a sudden callin when out of the blue i sit and write.... sometimes giving in to sponteneity is adorable, it makes me do things i never regret.
tuch wood...but the present state of affairs seems very close to perfect...u just need to wait and the tide does shift to your favour...
stuff i have been doing:-
1) making myself a nice hot cup of beated coffee for breakfast everyday!
2) randomly planning and going out wid friends
3) being on track...don't know whether its right or wrong...but at least it is some track...
4) not over-thinking
5) enjoying law-finally
totally random,nevertheless,,,feels amazing having written something.
02:19 a.m. to be precise and here i sit...staring at the laptop screenw eyes bereft of any sleep..thinking of writing something, albeit the subject matter for the same appears to be forlorn. As has always been the situation with me...i have never known what i want...i ahve always known what i dont. i know i want to write...i dont know what to write.....
it is probably the only escape route to say that i ahve been over-loaded with work....and then i can go on and on justifing myself...but the point is why do i have to do it....i know if i want to i will find a way...its just that i dont have that drive...and this is really a sudden callin when out of the blue i sit and write.... sometimes giving in to sponteneity is adorable, it makes me do things i never regret.
tuch wood...but the present state of affairs seems very close to perfect...u just need to wait and the tide does shift to your favour...
stuff i have been doing:-
1) making myself a nice hot cup of beated coffee for breakfast everyday!
2) randomly planning and going out wid friends
3) being on track...don't know whether its right or wrong...but at least it is some track...
4) not over-thinking
5) enjoying law-finally
totally random,nevertheless,,,feels amazing having written something.
Monday, December 7, 2009
....of smiles
they say...a smile happens in a flash but its memory lasts for a lifetime.
they also say its hard to make someone else smile and takes a lot of effort
but i say..its very difficult to find someone who makes u smile for it certainly means that you are loved and cared for. it means there are people who are sensitive towards your feelings and no matter in whatever state of mind they are in ...they do make it a point to make you feel special.
this post is for all those friends who know me well enough to say just those little nothings at those appropriate times that brings a smile on my lips.
they also say its hard to make someone else smile and takes a lot of effort
but i say..its very difficult to find someone who makes u smile for it certainly means that you are loved and cared for. it means there are people who are sensitive towards your feelings and no matter in whatever state of mind they are in ...they do make it a point to make you feel special.
this post is for all those friends who know me well enough to say just those little nothings at those appropriate times that brings a smile on my lips.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
ghu ghu shona koi...mamon shona koi....
me still in half slumber...i slightly open my eyes and see the man i love the most....sitting beside me on my bed and waking me up saying...ghu ghu shona koi....mamon shona koi......
gone forever are those days when this was a regularity for me....gone are the days when i never realised how i was cocooned from all the vagaries of life...indeed gone are the days when i was a little kid...
not that i am complaining...
just that i am missing my father...my idea of an ideal man...
feeling work pressure...one side of me wants to get freed from all this..the other side keeps pushing me beyond my limits hoping to make me a competent player in this horrid rat race of the law school life...i try i hope i fail and then i try again until i finally suceed!!Don't know what keeps me going...
missing the conversations with baba...missing those rajdoot rides....missing that most secure hug...missing the endless discussions on FOOOOD...missing plotting against ma.....missing home...
grew up wanting to leave home...
grown up wanting to go back......
gone forever are those days when this was a regularity for me....gone are the days when i never realised how i was cocooned from all the vagaries of life...indeed gone are the days when i was a little kid...
not that i am complaining...
just that i am missing my father...my idea of an ideal man...
feeling work pressure...one side of me wants to get freed from all this..the other side keeps pushing me beyond my limits hoping to make me a competent player in this horrid rat race of the law school life...i try i hope i fail and then i try again until i finally suceed!!Don't know what keeps me going...
missing the conversations with baba...missing those rajdoot rides....missing that most secure hug...missing the endless discussions on FOOOOD...missing plotting against ma.....missing home...
grew up wanting to leave home...
grown up wanting to go back......
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
...of open spaces
there's a certain enigma attached to open spaces.....it is indeed very difficult to decipher what.....the clear night sky...the vehicles plying on the distant road...the unfamiliar faces...the busy faces...the unadulterated zephyr...AND the sumptuous meal.
life just couldn't get better...of course now,how can you better perfection????
had dinner at a similar place last night...it cast a spell that is still hovering around me..very simple thing and a very basic meal but sometimes they make a hectic day unconventional and special.
made me retreat back to a few kines from H.W. LONGFELLOW'S Leisure-" what a life if full of care...when we have no time to stand and stare??"
true to the core...sometimes things need to be taken easily!!!!
life just couldn't get better...of course now,how can you better perfection????
had dinner at a similar place last night...it cast a spell that is still hovering around me..very simple thing and a very basic meal but sometimes they make a hectic day unconventional and special.
made me retreat back to a few kines from H.W. LONGFELLOW'S Leisure-" what a life if full of care...when we have no time to stand and stare??"
true to the core...sometimes things need to be taken easily!!!!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
random..totally
an empty street...an empty house...a hole inside my heart...im all alone..the rooms are getting smaller...i wonder how??i wonder why???i wonder where they are??the days we had...the songs we sang together....
and oh my dear...im holding on forever...reaching for you ..coz u now seem so far...so i say a little prayer and hope my dreams will take me there...where the skies are blue...to see you once again...over seas..from coast to coast...to find the place i love the most...where the fields are green..
to see you once again......
and oh my dear...im holding on forever...reaching for you ..coz u now seem so far...so i say a little prayer and hope my dreams will take me there...where the skies are blue...to see you once again...over seas..from coast to coast...to find the place i love the most...where the fields are green..
to see you once again......
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