....of smiles

they say...a smile happens in a flash but its memory lasts for a lifetime.
they also say its hard to make someone else smile and takes a lot of effort
but i say..its very difficult to find someone who makes u smile for it certainly means that you are loved and cared for. it means there are people who are sensitive towards your feelings and no matter in whatever state of mind they are in ...they do make it a point to make you feel special.
this post is for all those friends who know me well enough to say just those little nothings at those appropriate times that brings a smile on my lips.

ghu ghu shona koi...mamon shona koi....

me still in half slumber...i slightly open my eyes and see the man i love the most....sitting beside me on my bed and waking me up saying...ghu ghu shona koi....mamon shona koi......

gone forever are those days when this was a regularity for me....gone are the days when i never realised how i was cocooned from all the vagaries of life...indeed gone are the days when i was a little kid...
not that i am complaining...
just that i am missing my father...my idea of an ideal man...

feeling work pressure...one side of me wants to get freed from all this..the other side keeps pushing me beyond my limits hoping to make me a competent player in this horrid rat race of the law school life...i try i hope i fail and then i try again until i finally suceed!!Don't know what keeps me going...

missing the conversations with baba...missing those rajdoot rides....missing that most secure hug...missing the endless discussions on FOOOOD...missing plotting against ma.....missing home...

grew up wanting to leave home...
grown up wanting to go back......

...of open spaces

there's a certain enigma attached to open spaces.....it is indeed very difficult to decipher what.....the clear night sky...the vehicles plying on the distant road...the unfamiliar faces...the busy faces...the unadulterated zephyr...AND the sumptuous meal.

life just couldn't get better...of course now,how can you better perfection????

had dinner at a similar place last night...it cast a spell that is still hovering around me..very simple thing and a very basic meal but sometimes they make a hectic day unconventional and special.

made me retreat back to a few kines from H.W. LONGFELLOW'S Leisure-" what a life if full of care...when we have no time to stand and stare??"
true to the core...sometimes things need to be taken easily!!!!

random..totally

an empty street...an empty house...a hole inside my heart...im all alone..the rooms are getting smaller...i wonder how??i wonder why???i wonder where they are??the days we had...the songs we sang together....
and oh my dear...im holding on forever...reaching for you ..coz u now seem so far...so i say a little prayer and hope my dreams will take me there...where the skies are blue...to see you once again...over seas..from coast to coast...to find the place i love the most...where the fields are green..
to see you once again......

the long and short of it..

this week is undoubtedly the longest and the shortest week i have encountered in the recent past.Long because it does not seem to end and short because it is filled with so many activities that i can barely manage. And...i am till now doing a bad job at it...i am barely skimming through.4 tests...2 projects...2 assignments...4 test papers.that's it.working round the clock has almost become an everyday thing now.it has entered the psyche to this extent that i feel so much at home with all these now.the biggest proof...i am blogging when i should be typing away to glory my projects.yes..i am getting used to this pressure...if at all it can be so termed.i am losing the temper at the most trivial things..have no clue about what and when i am eating..sleeping only with quick alarms all the time....i might sound as if i am whining but i am not.I am kind of beginning to enjoy this now...because i seriously do not have an other option!
i have managed somehow...even if not satisfactorily...one of the few things that have kept me going and shall continue doing so....three magic words someone told me today....BLOG ABOUT THIS!!!
and it is helping already....me is going bak to the projects!

20 random things about me

1)im a law student
2)was badly addicted to coffee once upon a time...not so much an addict now
3)i am gullible-dats why an anchor in my life is so essential..!
4)love reaading..almost anything
5)love love love music
6)m a cleanliness freak ...SOMETIMES!
7)i used to get attached to people very soon-have stopped it now
8)less than a handful people are important for me n im very protective about them
9)i still love my first college THE most..yes,i shall always do so
10)i've recently realised...i am an observer n i like it
11)i finally have my priorities back on track-one of the bestest feelings it is1
12)i miss my thamma all the time-she is ther most beautiful lady i have ever seen :(
13)i am a bong from bihar and am proud about it-i knoe a few people who are not. :(
14)i louuuuve maggi at midnight..!
15)i love shopping once in a while!
16)being ultra-girly is never my cup of tea!
17)my room is the only material thing i am badly attached to
18)i am a foodie and i dont care about gaining weight-never
19)i miss mom's food -well,everyone does!
20)i turn 21 tommorrow n im feeling happy n high-ON LIFE!

10 things i wish i had...NOW

here's a list of the ten things that i want the most right now:-
1)Ma
2)Baba
3)my bed at home
4)hot chicken stew
5)cardbury's fruit n nut
6)loads of pillows all around me
7)a nice book
8)fragrance of roses from my window
9)my warm and cozy blanket
10)snoopy


yes...i am sick and want to go HOME :(


daz snoopy....

those little things in love and life...

except for the title..this has got nothing to do with the book by the same name....
this post is coming a bit too soon but i have to...i just have to right..NOW....
its about a girl..the first thing you notice about her..she is fat..the next thing you notice..the confidence that overshadows every other thing..

i think i couldn't have given har a better beginning....however...

we met...and there certainly was nothing like "..and the rest is history".NO. ours was a gradual one...first i hated her..then i envied her..finally i loved her.
i failed to read between the lines..i failed to fathom those unspoken words...but time came to the rescue...i saw the person..the brutal honesty..the different take on things..the uncompromosing attitude..the capacity to bottle up stuff...the sincerity...may be she finally showed herself to me...

i envied her for so many things...i envied her because she was so..so close to perfect *of course no one should be perfect*...i envied her for being the right balance of fun and maturity...i envied her because i wanted to imbibe few of these things from her...

it has been a little more than two years that i have known her...and today all the envy has vanished...i dont want to be like her...because i cant be like her...each one of us is unique..no doubt...but she is DIFFERENT...totally

this is something i wrote:-

shez strong az iron yet soft az cotton.....determined az d mountains yet baffling az d sea.....lively as a bunch of sunflowers yet serene az a solitary white tulip......she reasons like d logic of a seasoned philosopher but shez confused like a child at a candy shop......she camouflages better than a chameleon n she opens up her bare heart to you.....shez bears responsibility with d dedication of a devotee n shez a riot of colours when shez in a jovial mood......she inspires...she motivates....she soothes....she advises...she helps....she instills positivity...she infuses morality....she leads....she enjoys...she gets tired too....but den she gathers her spirits n stands up tall coz she let d world know dat shez strong az iron.
daz d various facets of bein the teddy...daz bein a phenomenon called PARUL ALOK.
turned out t b smthng vry different frm wat i was plannin 2 rite....
gud luk 2de n always
P.S. i love you

this is how she replied:-

miss ur coffee… miss ur coconut ladoos …miss ur gettin scred at small thngz… miss ur nt eatin fud nd gettin scoldin frm us… miss ur writin nice stuf in klass nd trustin nd givin me to read it… miss ur nt movin ass frm ur bed …miss sleepin vid u …miss discussin songz vid u…. miss ur quick bathz dat u used to take… miss ur… shit happens nd u move on attitude …miss ur smile …miss ur silently gvin me all d space dat i needed ….miss ur counsellingz d most................i dunno if u nd i hve ever been very close or nt but still miss d relationship v hd.........it was different nd i treasure it nd i will always remembr u for wat v had.........i miss d relationship a lot.

these little things in love and life......so trivial..yet so meaningful

an insect...dissected

i have finally succesfully dissected an insect.it happened to be this really leech kind of an insect...the kinds that will adhere to your skin and wont leave you till it has satisfactorily sucked up all your blood. so i encoutered a similar kind of bug in my life..extremely sweet on the face...probably it never uttered anything other than sugar-coated words...it easily slipped into my close circle of people whom i am protective about.i played along too...silly;naive me.i ignored the warnings and defended my insect many a times and one fine day....

i found out the scum the the insect had been spreading about me among so many other people...the pest pf my life told something that was THE closest to my heart and i had confided...the only thing i regret saying.....that wretched creature made me a laughing stock i feel.tried its level best to ruin my life and fill me with preconceived notions about every person i thought good about...nonetheless...as fate would have it...realisation dawned....

i came out of the dizziness...a much needed sabbatical came to the rescue...And after my hiatus i saw things clearly..with my eyes wide open...i saw that black little heart...those ruptured veins on account of too much blood sucking...the hallucinating eyes that cast a spell...the filthy bile inside...et all

couldn't have felt better coming out of it...blogging about the same makes it all the effective...i pray the insect stays out of my life..an insect belonging to the specie called homo sapien....the Omen Bad of my life.....!!

...of beginnings

back in 2007...a beautiful beginning..with 12 non-stop....today we turn 21...a vague similarity!
its been filled with rough times...real hard ones when i have shut myself up n refused to understand..when i have been totally incummunicado...when i have been at my insensitive best....
but there have also been times when i have been made to feel like a princess;like a companion;like the proverbial friend..philosopher..guide....like an partner in crime!!
no matter whatever life has thrown..sticking together is the only lesson i have learnt n i guess that is the most important lesson to be learnt....
cheers n tuch wud!
yea baby...i feel so gay!

stoned...to death

bankground: boring IPC class..teacher reading out whatever is written on the slides without adding even an ounce of literature from his side...people merrily sleeping or eating or chatting or whatsoever best fits them...me..getting bored to death with the Mr. intellectual of the class sitting beside me.The relevant section:53 of IPC. the historical background being given behind punishments in olden days.harsh ounishments like transportation for life,fine, forfeiture of property,simple or rigorous imprisonment,stoning to death....
the intellectual beside me..."bagchi..imagine the ecstacy of being stoned to death"
me..*waking uo suddenly* ahem..well it is not exactly the kind of stoning you are talking about sir
he...yes i knoe..but jus imagine...im sure quite a few people here can vouch for the fact that they would love to die in a similar fashion
me...*gulping* ahem

and ..life in a classroom goes on and on and on..
as for me..i could certainly not find a better time for riting this post...as i sit here trying to start off an assignment on shiney ahuja case that needs to be submitted to the IPC faculty tomorrow
i am doomed for sure :(

....of friendships

i have not been very punctual in the last few day owing to the awful internet connection in the hostel...nonetheless...this one post i have always wanted to write...its coming late but here is goes....
legend has it that in 1935, the American government had killed a person on the first saturday of August and the next day his friend died committing suicide. in his memory, the American government declared the first sunday of every August as friendship day....though i dont have any clue about such a declaration or whatsoever.but the fact is the entire hullabaloo surrounding this day,and for that matter any hyped day....freindship is not merely hugging at every meeting or proclaiming to the world how much the other one means to you....it simply is being there for each other.giving your freind her favourite chocolate when she is really low....doing some silly little thing that would bring a smile on her face..pressing her hand in reassurance...

friendship is trust..more than anything else..a blind conviction that no matter from whatever height you fall,you have someone hold to hold you back.with a few genuine freinds beside you,life gets easier as you are there for each other in failures and successes..in crests and troughs..in silly adventures and mindless gossips...in happiness and sadness!

for all my friends who have laughed with me and cried for me....

shut up...n bounce

NO...i am not at all refering to the song from Dostana. YES...i am feeling low and tis post is to make me get my priorities back on track.my book-mark says...its not important from what height you fall but how high you bounce back. true to the core but humanly speaking is it not next to impossible sometimes to do it?does it not happen that you get all dazed and confused thinking about something and the more you think the more baffling it gets..its like a quagmire i say because there seems to be no way out at all.wat is to be done during those bewildering times when even the strongest cup of black coffee ends up futile??when u sit surounded in the best possible human company and you still feel the vaccuum in cacophony??when coherence and reason take the last seat and you feel as if you are chasing the unattainable??so then the question arises..is the thing you are chasing unattainable or is it the thing you really want??if it is what u want and it seems unreachable then you are simple not trying hard enough....but the problem arises when u start questioning ur choice and preferences...wat if it is not what u want...waht if you have put yourself in iron fetters fearing to think beyond the obvious....THAT is where the root of the problem lies. when the existence of something comes into question its time for serious introspection and an unbiased one at that.its time to be harsh on oneself if needed and figure out what do you want...because at times being selfish and thinking about yourself is not the next best alternative...it is the only alternative!And once that is done i presume the problem comes to an end and you can see the light at the distant end of the tunnel....all you need to do is to walk throught he dark tunnel hoping to get closer to light with each fleeting moment.AND that is when i say to myself....shut up n bounce!!!!

abduction dash!

one fine evening; with a little bit of drizzling every now and then;this silly-billy girl was enjoying her American corn,blissfully unaware of what the future was to unfold for her within the next few moments. then arrived the three musketeres....N,R and S!disguised as taking her for a walk she was casually told that the three were going to chocolate room-a coffee shop of sorts.gleefully she nodded still engrossed in her corns..then within the wink of an eye N and S get a better grip over both her hands while R tells,"i will get the auto....u guys get the patient" yes..she R addressed her as THE PATIENT....penniless..and much more importantly phone-less she was squeezed inside the auto with the huge S on one side and N and R on the other to provide for the much needed coushioning for the girl.yet unable to comprehend she kept uttering just one thing,"u people are actually kidnapping me...u people are ACTUALLY doing it"and the rest that followed would be better depicted by these self-explanatory pictures....

N and S with dash!

some vellapanti n more embrrraaassssment fer the kidnapped....

presenting dash-when she finally gave in!

the three master minded musketeres!!!!!
P.S. i louuu u dash..plz dun slaughter me for the flower pic!!!

pic of my life

whoever has a knack for photography invariably has a pic which he/she labels as the pic of life. it might be a pic of their own in happy or pensive mood or jus something clicked by them and very close to thier heart.the one right above is wat i call the pic of my life.not clicked by me but defines me in ways more than one. on a very random night, my roomie-anyone who shares my hostel room wud be my room-mate but i shall always have just one roomie.so my roomie clicked this pic n i flicked it from her. no matter in whatever frame of mind i am in..this one pic i can always relate to- a mere speck in this big world,a fighter and survivor against all odds,a silent observer,a loyal companion.....may be this is my perspective of my own self.

this day..that year

sitting here on my bed,with the cool monsoon winds brushing past my hair,my mind drifts back to the past one year. Last year on this very day,life changed-for better and for worse. some told i was heading for greener pastures..some of them out in all their effort in holding me back but i left.i left the place that gave me everyhting beyond my expectations.my first hostel room,first ragging,first fresher's,first roomie....et all. Today,in retrospect,i see for myself that i have traversed a long way....i have undergone a metamorphosis,have become a little more fit to survive in this insensitive world.But at the same time i have found happiness.i have absolutely hated this place for the past year for reasons best known to me but now i think this is my first step towards accepting things the way they are. i have fumbled n i shall fumble but as said HOLLY-" in the meantine..life goes on"