...of wrinkles

i turn a year older in some 20 minutes or so...but that is besides the point. the point is...birthday surprises and celebrations apart, i am turning old...but does that mean i am growing also?am i getting matured as a person...is my outlook towards things changing??thinking of the past one year....if not anything else...it has been extremely taxing...losing some people very close to me...anil jethu..punno jethu and my mashi.i never realised i loved her so much until this may when i went her place and saw that life-size photo in her room..she was an epitome of liveliness for me.knowing all the ups and downs of her life and yet her zeal to smile and keep herself happy....her singing and chattering...et all....i wish i can live up to it mashi....
lerning so much about people...developing a devil-may-care attitude....truly, i feel the change now that i actually sit and contemplate.i klnow for sure that i am not bothered about people and their reactions anymore. and that is why i believe i am beginning to remain happy for longer periods of time...or so i believe!!!!
if not anything else, one thing for sure...i know what are my priorities..at least for the moment...and i know that it is important to think about yourself and yourself only most of the times.....
albeit there are people and quite a few of them i would always keep before me....
thank you all for making me what i am today....trust me...each one of you had a hand in it!!

ghu ghu shona koi...mamon shona koi....

me still in half slumber...i slightly open my eyes and see the man i love the most....sitting beside me on my bed and waking me up saying...ghu ghu shona koi....mamon shona koi......

gone forever are those days when this was a regularity for me....gone are the days when i never realised how i was cocooned from all the vagaries of life...indeed gone are the days when i was a little kid...
not that i am complaining...
just that i am missing my father...my idea of an ideal man...

feeling work pressure...one side of me wants to get freed from all this..the other side keeps pushing me beyond my limits hoping to make me a competent player in this horrid rat race of the law school life...i try i hope i fail and then i try again until i finally suceed!!Don't know what keeps me going...

missing the conversations with baba...missing those rajdoot rides....missing that most secure hug...missing the endless discussions on FOOOOD...missing plotting against ma.....missing home...

grew up wanting to leave home...
grown up wanting to go back......

the long and short of it..

this week is undoubtedly the longest and the shortest week i have encountered in the recent past.Long because it does not seem to end and short because it is filled with so many activities that i can barely manage. And...i am till now doing a bad job at it...i am barely skimming through.4 tests...2 projects...2 assignments...4 test papers.that's it.working round the clock has almost become an everyday thing now.it has entered the psyche to this extent that i feel so much at home with all these now.the biggest proof...i am blogging when i should be typing away to glory my projects.yes..i am getting used to this pressure...if at all it can be so termed.i am losing the temper at the most trivial things..have no clue about what and when i am eating..sleeping only with quick alarms all the time....i might sound as if i am whining but i am not.I am kind of beginning to enjoy this now...because i seriously do not have an other option!
i have managed somehow...even if not satisfactorily...one of the few things that have kept me going and shall continue doing so....three magic words someone told me today....BLOG ABOUT THIS!!!
and it is helping already....me is going bak to the projects!

20 random things about me

1)im a law student
2)was badly addicted to coffee once upon a time...not so much an addict now
3)i am gullible-dats why an anchor in my life is so essential..!
4)love reaading..almost anything
5)love love love music
6)m a cleanliness freak ...SOMETIMES!
7)i used to get attached to people very soon-have stopped it now
8)less than a handful people are important for me n im very protective about them
9)i still love my first college THE most..yes,i shall always do so
10)i've recently realised...i am an observer n i like it
11)i finally have my priorities back on track-one of the bestest feelings it is1
12)i miss my thamma all the time-she is ther most beautiful lady i have ever seen :(
13)i am a bong from bihar and am proud about it-i knoe a few people who are not. :(
14)i louuuuve maggi at midnight..!
15)i love shopping once in a while!
16)being ultra-girly is never my cup of tea!
17)my room is the only material thing i am badly attached to
18)i am a foodie and i dont care about gaining weight-never
19)i miss mom's food -well,everyone does!
20)i turn 21 tommorrow n im feeling happy n high-ON LIFE!

10 things i wish i had...NOW

here's a list of the ten things that i want the most right now:-
1)Ma
2)Baba
3)my bed at home
4)hot chicken stew
5)cardbury's fruit n nut
6)loads of pillows all around me
7)a nice book
8)fragrance of roses from my window
9)my warm and cozy blanket
10)snoopy


yes...i am sick and want to go HOME :(


daz snoopy....

...of beginnings

back in 2007...a beautiful beginning..with 12 non-stop....today we turn 21...a vague similarity!
its been filled with rough times...real hard ones when i have shut myself up n refused to understand..when i have been totally incummunicado...when i have been at my insensitive best....
but there have also been times when i have been made to feel like a princess;like a companion;like the proverbial friend..philosopher..guide....like an partner in crime!!
no matter whatever life has thrown..sticking together is the only lesson i have learnt n i guess that is the most important lesson to be learnt....
cheers n tuch wud!
yea baby...i feel so gay!

....of friendships

i have not been very punctual in the last few day owing to the awful internet connection in the hostel...nonetheless...this one post i have always wanted to write...its coming late but here is goes....
legend has it that in 1935, the American government had killed a person on the first saturday of August and the next day his friend died committing suicide. in his memory, the American government declared the first sunday of every August as friendship day....though i dont have any clue about such a declaration or whatsoever.but the fact is the entire hullabaloo surrounding this day,and for that matter any hyped day....freindship is not merely hugging at every meeting or proclaiming to the world how much the other one means to you....it simply is being there for each other.giving your freind her favourite chocolate when she is really low....doing some silly little thing that would bring a smile on her face..pressing her hand in reassurance...

friendship is trust..more than anything else..a blind conviction that no matter from whatever height you fall,you have someone hold to hold you back.with a few genuine freinds beside you,life gets easier as you are there for each other in failures and successes..in crests and troughs..in silly adventures and mindless gossips...in happiness and sadness!

for all my friends who have laughed with me and cried for me....

shut up...n bounce

NO...i am not at all refering to the song from Dostana. YES...i am feeling low and tis post is to make me get my priorities back on track.my book-mark says...its not important from what height you fall but how high you bounce back. true to the core but humanly speaking is it not next to impossible sometimes to do it?does it not happen that you get all dazed and confused thinking about something and the more you think the more baffling it gets..its like a quagmire i say because there seems to be no way out at all.wat is to be done during those bewildering times when even the strongest cup of black coffee ends up futile??when u sit surounded in the best possible human company and you still feel the vaccuum in cacophony??when coherence and reason take the last seat and you feel as if you are chasing the unattainable??so then the question arises..is the thing you are chasing unattainable or is it the thing you really want??if it is what u want and it seems unreachable then you are simple not trying hard enough....but the problem arises when u start questioning ur choice and preferences...wat if it is not what u want...waht if you have put yourself in iron fetters fearing to think beyond the obvious....THAT is where the root of the problem lies. when the existence of something comes into question its time for serious introspection and an unbiased one at that.its time to be harsh on oneself if needed and figure out what do you want...because at times being selfish and thinking about yourself is not the next best alternative...it is the only alternative!And once that is done i presume the problem comes to an end and you can see the light at the distant end of the tunnel....all you need to do is to walk throught he dark tunnel hoping to get closer to light with each fleeting moment.AND that is when i say to myself....shut up n bounce!!!!

pic of my life

whoever has a knack for photography invariably has a pic which he/she labels as the pic of life. it might be a pic of their own in happy or pensive mood or jus something clicked by them and very close to thier heart.the one right above is wat i call the pic of my life.not clicked by me but defines me in ways more than one. on a very random night, my roomie-anyone who shares my hostel room wud be my room-mate but i shall always have just one roomie.so my roomie clicked this pic n i flicked it from her. no matter in whatever frame of mind i am in..this one pic i can always relate to- a mere speck in this big world,a fighter and survivor against all odds,a silent observer,a loyal companion.....may be this is my perspective of my own self.